I Have Marfan Syndrome

The In-Laws came to visit.

My wife's mother and step-father live in Virginia and they came up for the Fourth of July weekend for a wedding.  My wife has been in therapy for somewhere around 10 years (maybe longer), dealing with her issues from how she was raised.

In her late 50's/early 60's, Pauline's mother has adopted a boy, girl (both now teenagers), and has custody of a 4 year old and an 18 month old.  She brought them all down with her.

I have to say, that Pauline and I are extremely thankful, and we were both surprised, when her mother came down last year to help take care of me while I was recovering from my Mitral Valve Surgery.  However, Pauline has always lived waiting "for the other shoe to drop."  So, with this visit, we were expected to watch the 4 year old while Pauline's mother went to the wedding.

I have always been pro-family.  I try to keep as many familial connections as I can.  I don't know why, maybe that's how I was raised, or it's in my blood.  So, I push Pauline to call her mother at least once a month, and to answer the phone when her half-sister calls.  Pauline has gotten better at it.

I have also always believed in teaching by example.  I want my two daughters to know that they have an extended family, and that we are all connected in some way.  So, it's very hard to have the in-laws over, because many issues come up.

How to tell your mother-in-law that you don't want her threatening to "beat" the children she has custody of, because you don't want your children to hear that kind of thing?  We end up talking to Sam and reminding her that that's not how we like to treat people.

Could we take the straight route and tell Pauline's mother that we don't want that around here?  Sure, but considering how she handles criticism, that could mean never seeing her again.  Pauline has criticized her mother about that before, and it just goes over her head.

You can't teach old dog new tricks...?

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